Race to the grave is what I’ve affectionately begun to call this magical journey through life. I’ve spent the past 16 years trying to make my life as simple as possible mostly without success. I’ve tried and thought about many different options regarding work and basically haven’t gotten any closer to finding happiness than when i started this nonsense many moons ago. No matter how good an idea may seem, ultimately there’s always either a flaw in my thinking or something that I didn’t think about that leads to its failure. In fact, I’ve almost resigned myself to the fact that happiness isn’t in the cards for me. I’ve been under the delusion for quite some time that the reason for my unrest was the need for money and the neverending quest to find some kind of work that will bring me something besides just a paycheck. However, I’ve concluded that the need to live up to your responsibilites(mortgage and family) will ultimately doom any sort of search for happiness to failure and eventually you will have to succumb to the need for money and give up the desire to do something that doesn’t center around acquiring it.
I think the seeds of this unrest are sewn when two things occur. First and foremost is the acquisition of the American Dream, the Almighty primary residence. i think the biggest crock of **** perpetrated on society is that of home ownership. Instead of being some sort of reward, home ownership to me is the first link in the chain of slavery that dooms humans to a life of attachment to crappy jobs and acceptance of things far below what anyone would deem acceptable. Unfortunately, unless you know someone smart enough and honest enough to tell you that before you take the plunge, you’ll never know it until you’ve dived into the depths of despair and learned it yourself. At that point,it becomes quite difficult to extricate yourself from the situation. When I found out about this predicament was after I had had a bunch of kids, which brings me to the second part of the equation of misery. As much as i love my kids, and there’s nothing i love more in this world, in the end, its the natural desire to take care of them and make sure that their life is as good as possible that also keeps you running to an unpleasant job situation instead of having some balls and changing your life completely and doing something for reasons other than the accumulation of money doing crap you don’t want to do to pay for things that you don’t want in the first place.
Well, that’s about it for now. I’m going to go have a taylor egg and cheese sandwich now, Have a great day and looking forward to talking to you again soon.
Love Me (FL, that is)